Not So Bad
One of my favorite forms of writing is the personal essay, and I had a blast putting together two articles that highlight 30 different personal essay markets. Part I is running on mediabistro.com today. Check back next Tuesday for Part II.
And now onto other stuff…how about an update on the pregnancy/baby front: Can you say hysterosalpingogram? I can’t, which is why it’s usually called the HSG test. Had one Friday. Wasn’t pleasant. Let’s just say it involved tubes, clamps, and toxic dye and leave it at that. The purpose of the test is to see if your fallopian tubes are open or if they’re blocked by scar tissue.
Earlier in the week, I was reading Jill Smolowe’s book An Empty Lap. She had an HSG test and described it as the worst abdominal pain she’s ever felt. GREAAAT. So glad I read that two days before my appointment. On the exam table I was going into hyper-spaz mode, especially when the nurse said, “This is the part that hurts.” At one point the radiologist, the nurse, and my husband were all holding me down. Ron and I looked at each other and we had the exact same thought, although we didn’t share it with each other until later: Maybe we’re not supposed to have kids. I mean, if this is what I’m acting like for an HSG test can you imagine what a mess I’ll be during labor?
But I think I’ll be okay. And I have to admit the HSG test was over pretty quickly and wasn’t too bad. Also, the results were good. So keep up those prayers!
posted by Jenny at 2:52 PM
16 Comments:
Glad your results were good Jenny.
Sorry you are going through all this.
Congratulations on Media Bistro!
3:38 PM
Glad you survived the test. And the Media Bistro article rocks!
4:34 PM
Congrats on the article! And the HSG test was, by far, the worst part of bringing a baby into this world. My c-section opinion, and that of a friend of mine who went through a heck of a lot to get pregnant, and labored with twins. So, no worries!
10:38 PM
Jenny,
I also had one of those hideous tests, although it turned out not to be as God-awful as others have written about. I expected to scream and throw up on the floor, but got through it. Glad you did, too. Hang in there. You will be amazed at how much you can tolerate to have a little one to love! Truly. If it's your heart's desire, don't worry about the pain. Like so many other moms, I don't remember the pain of labor at all. I just remember wanting a hamburger right after I delivered! ha ha.
And, don't let the health "professionals" scare you. A nurse telling you this is the part that hurts...did she really think she was helping you? They all drive me crazy!
I think it's the thoughtless comments by others that are the worst you have to endure when you are trying to conceive. Just try to keep your head in a positive place.
Love to you.
10:34 AM
Thanks everyone.
:-)
4:57 PM
Mind over matter. You can do it. You can do anything!
9:19 PM
Giving birth is not one of life's greatest miracles, conceiving is! Yoga or accupuncture, prayer or western medicine - all is waste of time as long as one refuses to accept one's karma humbly - the Universe doesn't bestow the miracle of conception upon one's request.
3:20 PM
You are in my prayers. Glad you had the test and the results were good. Keep moving forward.
XOXOX
10:01 PM
Anon, Conception, pregnancy, childbirth...it's all a miracle. And a gift. Whether the Creator of the universe has plans for us to be parents or has other plans will be revealed in the due course of time, but I think acupuncture, prayers, etc. are things I can do to prepare my body so it's more receptive.
Eileen, thanks for your kinds words and prayers!
10:40 AM
Jenny, this just shows me AGAIN how strong you are. You say so often that you are plagued with doubts and insecurities, and you question yourself (through this blog) so often - I think you need to take some time to see how awesome and inspirational you are! You ROCK. Admit it! Take pride in it. It's okay. All of these aspects of you are what will make you an awesome, rockin' mom. You're brave, too! Facing all of your fears proves it.
~Amalia~
PS I can't get your mediabistro article (I'm not a member) - is there another way/place to view it?
8:53 PM
Wow, that does not sound like fun. But I am quite sure it will all be worth it, so take care of yourself and stay grounded, whatever ways to have to do that. Sounds like you have some good ones. :)
12:26 AM
Thanks for the vote of confidence Amalia. And yes, I can forward you the article!
Thanks, Jess.
8:54 PM
Been there, too, Jenny. It's been more than 25 years, and I don't remember the pain anymore.
And although my journey did not include pregnancy, it has included two fabulous children and great happiness.
I wish you health and happiness. I wish you peace. I pray for your greatest good, whatever that may be.
9:17 PM
Glad the HSG had positive news. Good luck. Women were meant to tolerate pain more than men.
Those medical terms are something. Try esophagogastroduedenoscopy (EGD for throat, stomach, and upper intestines). No, I never had one. I come across that word a lot in coding exercises.
12:12 AM
Prayers for you always Jenny....
Love.
Suzy
7:20 AM
Jenny, great job on the Essays pieces over at MB - very useful, thanks.
Ugh, do I remember my own HSG test - felt like a thousand months worth of cramps...and then a week later, I found out I was pregnant already (by only a few days, and in those days, it was not detectable so soon)...Hang in there and cry when you must.
Loved Jill Smolowe's book too; she tells it true.
4:38 PM
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