How to Make a Baby

“I figured out how to make a baby,” I say to Ron at the dinner table.

“I’m pretty sure I know the basics,” he says.

I shake my head and wipe my hands on my cloth napkin. “No, no, no. Listen," I say. "This is what we need to do.” I push my plate aside and lean in close. “I’ll make plans to move back to Los Angeles. I’ll continue to freelance write, and I’ll get a part-time job as an editor. In the meantime, you keep your job here in D.C. and we’ll be a bi-coastal couple.”

Ron gives me a "where are you going with this" look.

“We’ll completely screw up our lives. We’ll make it a nightmare for us to have a baby. Imagine -- it would be horrible if we were parents and trying to alternate between two coasts,” I explain. I shrug my shoulders and throw my palms in the air. “Betcha a million I’d wind up preggers.”

Ron laughs. “I bet you’re right."