Processing

My head is still spinning.

Yesterday I ate lunch with three moms who have (or will have) adopted a child.

There was a kitchen full of salads and couscous and veggies with hummus. Cheese and meatballs and ice-cream with strawberries.

We hit on some heavy issues. We talked about what to do when the birth mother wants to visit and hold the adoptive mother’s baby for seven hours straight. And how in the US these days, open adoptions are the norm. We talked about answering comments from strangers when they look at your kid, discomfort in their eyes, and spurt out, “Your daughter inherited your nose,” even though the daughter is Indian and the mom is as white as dough. We talked about lawyers and agencies and different countries all over the world. We talked about the power of genes and the power of grief and power of love, especially about how love . . . grows, over time.

A little girl woke up from her nap and the meal broke up. The mom returned from the nursury with a beautiful 1 year old. Strawberry blonde hair and big blue eyes. The baby walked and fell and crawled and babbled. Then she handed me a book. For the first time that afternoon I laughed and smiled, the hurdles over adoption that seemed insurmountable began sliding away.

My head is still spinning.

~

A couple new posts are online over at EatWasaFeelGood.com/blog.