Little Rough

Day 1

Ron: Why are you clutching your boobs when you run up and down the stairs?

Me: They hurt. I swear I’m pregnant!

Pregnancy Test Results: One pink line. No second line (translation = negative).

Day 2

Me: I must eat a pickle NOW. I swear I’m pregnant!

Ron: Do you want peanut butter on your pickle?

Pregnancy Test Results: One pink line. No second line.

Day 3

Ron (home from work): What are you doing in bed?

Me: I had to sleep in the middle of the day. I swear I’m pregnant!

Pregnancy Test Results: One pink line. No second line.

Fine, fine, fine. I’ll hold the diapers. I mean, the pregnancy tests are right, right? It’s scientific evidence. Body chemicals don’t lie.

Day 4

Me: Am I allowed to be mad at God for not sending us a baby? Or will God be mad at me for being mad at him and give me a barren womb forever?

Ron: I’m pretty sure God doesn’t work that way. Maybe you’re taking the tests too early. Why don’t you put them away for a few days and check again next week.

Following Week

Emerging from the bathroom, I’m armed with my pregnancy test, freshly peed upon. I set it down on the bathroom counter and Ron and I peer at the stick, waiting. One pink line. No second line.

Stomp, stomp, stomp. I plop back into bed.

Me: This is ridiculous. I swear I’m pregnant!

Ron (kissing me goodbye): I’m sorry it was negative, Pumpkin.

Me: Zzzzzzz.

One Hour Later

Blink, blink, yawn.

I went to the bathroom . . . and the second line had appeared.

Little Rough is on its way!