Light Bulb over My Head

Thank you to the people who invented contact lenses, tampons, and Lactaid milk. Love those items -- couldn't live without them. But I could use a few more things. So if there are any budding Thomas Edisons out there, consider this:

1. Back Scratch Treatment: I'm never satisfied with a massage at the spa. It's either too ticklish, too painful, or the masseuse doesn't devote enough time to my back. I'd like to go to a spa and simply sign up for a back scratch treatment. The technician would have to have long nails and scratch my back for a full hour. Doesn't that sound lovely?

2. Half Glass of Wine. Any restaurant owners out there? Can you please start offering half glasses of wine? One glass never quite gets me through the meal, but two and I'm feeling silly, dehydrated, and later (around 2am) like an insomniac. I would like the option to order a half glass after I finish my first full glass. Please.

3. Organic Fast Food Chains. Do you know how annoyed I become when I'm traveling and my only options are McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and Kentucky Fried Chicken? Can't someone invent a fast food chain that serves healthy, organic fare? Fresh fruits, whole wheat breads, natural smoothies without all the sugar and gunk?

4. Self-Confidence Pill. These days you can pop a pill for anxiety, depression, and ADD. There are pills that prevent pregnancy, give a guy's private part a lift, and rid people of terrible illnesses. There is even a pill that addicts can take that will make them throw up (or something like that) if they begin using again. How about a self-confidence pill? I'd love to get up in the morning, pop one of those suckers, and plow through my day without ANY worries, doubts, or little voices in my head that say, that essay (or article, or chapter, or paragraph, etc.) is not good enough!

Okay peeps -- I'm off to Colorado for a couple weeks to buckle down and work on my two books. Internet access will be infrequent, but I'll check in and post when I have the chance.

Oh by the way, if anyone does invent one of my suggestions and ends up filthy rich, please remember where you got the idea in the first place and spread the wealth!