Nixing the "S" Word

As a new writer, I’ve stayed away from the topic of sex. But if I’m going to publish first person articles, keep a blog, and write a memoir, I can’t avoid it forever. It’s weird to write about sex – like how I’d imagine an actress might feel when she makes a film, shows a little boob, and then her parents, brothers, and closest friends buy tickets and watch the flick.

Ew.

Not that I haven’t flashed boob before. Once I lost my top waterskiing (I’m pretty sure my bottoms were crooked too) and another time I lost my top sunbathing, but both incidents were accidental. Writing about sex is intentional.

Anyway, I wrote a funny new blog entry the other day. I planned to post it this weekend, but as I re-read it, I thought twice. It was about Ron. Well, it was about Ron and me. Okay, it was about Ron and me and our private parts. I ended up e-mailing Ron at work and asking him if he’d be willing to read it first.

“What’s the topic?” Ron asked.

“The S word,” I told him.

“Singing? Sleeping? Sulfur? S’mores?” Ron typed back.

He read the draft blog. He laughed, but later that night he shook his head when I asked if I should post it.

“It’s funny,” I said.

“It’s intimate,” he said.

He was afraid his 68-year-old Mom who doesn’t own a computer would read it. I was afraid the Christian university I write for would pull the article (my first cover story!) I'd just turned in. So I didn’t post it. No worries – my creative juices were flowing. I whipped up another blog in no time.

My second blog was great, except for the fact that I faced a similar dilemma. The topic wasn’t the S word, it was the W word: weddings. Although normally harmless, weddings can provoke intense feelings, especially two weeks before the Big Day. My brother – the groom – nixed the draft blog. He told me I could publish it in 2010.

I realize I will face this issue time and time again as a writer. I mean, my goodness, these are 800-word blog postings. What will my family think of my 33-chapter book? In the end, I did the only thing I could do: I submitted the sex piece to the LA Times and the wedding piece to Modern Bride. I’m stalling. I’m hoping that between now and the time I hear back from the editors, my family will give me their blessing to publish the stories. In the meantime, I have a new rule: no more running draft blogs by family.

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Substitute Entertainment: My regrets for not entertaining you with one of the above-mentioned stories. How about a movie instead? You can read my review of the film An Inconvenient Truth at this link (scroll down to the bottom of the page): http://www.wholelifetimes.com/2006/06/reviews0606.html. There’s no nudity, but oh well. I tried.